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Secrets & Tips for a Happier Family

According to many recent education articles, one of the most difficult concepts to teach is responsibility, especially when you are trying to educate your own children. Often parents blame themselves when they realize that their child might have a behavioral problem. The first reaction may be to externalize the blame on ineffective teachers, therapist or other family members. As the child grows, they start blaming music, the culture, alcohol or drugs. The ‘victim thinking’ actually lessens the expectations that the child will take care of himself in the adult world. Teaching the children about responsibility must begin at a young age, so they can have an active role in their own education and maturation, without too much focus on the victim role.

Don’t allow them to make excuses

When teaching children about responsibility, parents shouldn’t allow them to blame other people, things or places for not completing tasks or meeting expectations. If a child blames someone else, he is actually saying it’s not my responsibility because I am only a victim. The best example is the classic dog ate my homework excuse. In reality, the child is saying that I am a victim of the dog and I should receive preferential treatment. Instead of playing the victim game, tell your kids that blaming the dog will not solve the problem. Since we are talking about pets, you should know that a dog is a great way of teaching a child the meaning of responsibility, but only if the child really wants a dog. If that is the case, you should consult a list of all dog breeds and choose an intelligent yet low maintenance dog. Don’t give the dog away as a surprise gift to the child, but prepare the child for this in advance and instruct them of all the chores that they will have to do in order to take care of the dog. reading the list of all dog breeds is very important as each breed has distinct characteristics which will tell you whether or not a certain dog can be a suitable companion for your child.

Parents can also teach kids about social situations by telling them that blaming your brother for why you hit him does not solve the problem of our no violence rule and you know the consequences for violence. Next, have the child perform the consequences. However, these consequences must be understood before the incident occurs. Emphasize the fact that consequences are the result of their poor choices, not a punishment for bad behavior.

Stop making excuses

Sometimes parents are the ones who make excuses so they minimize the problems their kids have. For example, a parent can send a note to school informing the teacher that Alex isn’t feeling well and he will be late for school. These explanations are actually excuses for the child’s behavior and refusal to do schoolwork at home, rudeness, fighting with other kids and others. Sometimes these behaviors are understandable, especially if there are problems at home or the parents are getting a divorce. However, always seeing your child as a victim will make him see himself that way, leading to the ‘rules don’t apply to me’ thinking.Think about whether part of your child’s behavior isn’t your own fault as well; children may not realize they need their parents’ advice, but you need to make yourself more available, and to try to be less judging, at least until you understand the problem. If time is an issue, invest in appliances or a housekeeper; read dishwasher reviews and buy the best dishwasher you can find, it will save you hours of trouble that you can then spend with your loved ones.

Switch from fault to responsibility

Based on the newest education methods presented in recent education articles, teaching the children about responsibility should involve focusing less on excuses and more on the matter at hand. Of course, some excuses are valid, but parents should be able to discriminate between those situations and when the children excuse themselves from not meeting their responsibilities. When the child is coming up with excuses, shift back onto their responsibility by asking why didn’t you meet your responsibility? When the child says I didn’t do my homework because I forgot to bring my book home, he’s actually saying it’s not my fault. When you ask him why he didn’t do the laundry or walk the dog, he might come up with excuses related to school. Respond by saying that we’re not talking about whose fault it is, but about whose responsibility it is. By arguing and debating about the excuse, you are encouraging him to come up with better ones.

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